Do You Want to Be Right... or Do You Want to Be Close?

Why keeping score is killing the connection in your relationship.

Ever found yourself Googling:

👉 Why do my partner and I fight over small things?

👉 How do I get my partner to understand me?

👉 How to fix communication issues in a relationship?

Let’s talk about one of the biggest connection-killers in relationships... and you might not even realise you’re doing it:

The constant loop of trying to prove you’re right… and your partner is wrong.

Your Brain Isn’t Neutral - It’s Biased AF

You don’t see your partner through a crystal-clear lens.You see them through your past, pain, and programming.

So if you’ve already labelled them as:

• Selfish

• Inconsiderate

• Someone who “never listens”...

Then guess what your brain is going to keep looking for?

Yep. Proof that you’re right 🙃

Even when it’s not the full story. Even when it’s not fact - just filtered perception.

It’s Not About Blame. It’s About Both of You.

Sure, maybe he messed up. Maybe he said something that hurt. Maybe he should’ve done things differently.

But… could it have gone differently if:

• You spoke up sooner?

• You didn’t expect him to read your mind?

• You didn’t shut down and silently hope he’d “just get it”?

Almost always, both of you could’ve said it better. Done it kinder. Shown up with more empathy.

Accountability ≠ Admitting You’re “Wrong”

It means being willing to grow. To own your part.. even if it’s just 5% of the dynamic.

Because when couples get stuck in that “who’s right” power play… they lose more than the argument.

They lose each other.

The Real Question Is:

Do you want to be right… or do you want to be close?

Because love doesn’t live in defensiveness or superiority. It lives in softness, ownership, repair.

Let go of the scoreboard and breathe.

Listen to understand - not just to respond or defend.

You don’t need to be perfect... You just need to be willing.

Willing to do it better - together. That’s where real connection is rebuilt 💗

Want support having these conversations with less fight and more depth?

Come join my free Facebook group Unshakable Love - where we’re learning how to repair, reconnect, and actually feel safe in love again.