I Thought I Was Protecting Myself… But I Was Just Pushing Him Away

I used to think he was the problem...

That he couldn’t hold space. That he didn’t understand me. That he wasn’t doing enough.

But if I’m really honest with myself…I wasn’t being radically honest with him either.

I was cold instead of vulnerable, sarcastic instead of direct... and I’d withhold affection or attention instead of communicating my needs. Or I’d just act like I didn’t care, when really, I cared so much it terrified me.

To be fair, it wasn’t on purpose. It was just the only way I knew how to feel in control.

But that “control”?

It was costing me connection with the one person who wanted to love me through it; My biggest supporter and my #1 fan 🥹

The moment I saw that - like, really saw it for what it was at the core - everything shifted.

So no, this isn’t about blaming yourself for the disconnection.

It’s about reclaiming your power within it.

Because the part of you that guards, provokes, or pulls away?

She’s not broken - She’s just scared and she doesn’t feel safe - yet.

And safety? That starts within.

It’s time to stop performing and start relating - with truth, with courage, and with softness.

You deserve to feel safe in love.

P.S. If this landed, come join me inside Unshakable Love - my free Facebook group for women who are done performing in relationships and ready to feel seen, safe and connected.It’s where the real conversations are happening. See you inside. 💗