About Becoming
OR: HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP
I grew up watching my mum endure infidelity, compulsive lying and emotional chaos. And that kind of instability left a mark on me... especially on my nervous system. This became the baseline I carried into every relationship, every room... every version of myself I was trying to become.
At 15, I found myself in the same situation.
I became a mum at 17. By 23 I had two children and was eight years deep in a relationship full of heartbreak, anxiety and the kind of soul-eroding stress that makes you question who you are and whether trying is even worth it anymore.
I spent years in survival. bracing. Just waiting for the next hurt and the rug to be pulled out from underneath me.
That was my baseline, and I didn't even know it.
Eventually, I started doing the real work. And it changed everything.
I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life - break the cycle, walk away, and choose a different path. Not just for me, but for my babies too.
Today, we co-parent with love and respect. I’m with a man who is genuinely phenomenal. We have a beautiful blended family of six - wild, loud, and full of so. much. love.
But here’s what I need you to hear: the relationship isn’t the prize. Embodying the change I was searching for is.
And getting here didn’t happen because I found the right person or finally got my life together on the outside.
It happened because I learned how to meet myself differently on the inside.
I went underneath the patterns I had been living in - the automatic tightening, the shutting down, the overthinking, the disconnect. I started to notice what was happening in my body in real time, instead of only understanding it afterwards.
And slowly, that changed everything.
Not through insight alone. But through what my system could finally experience safely, moment by moment.
That’s where it actually changed.
And now I do this work with women.
Not surface work. Not reframing, coping strategies, or learning how to communicate better - though those do have their place.
This work goes underneath that.
Into the patterns your body runs automatically. The tightening, the shutting down, the over-functioning, the disconnect that happens before you’ve even had time to think about it. The ways you leave yourself without realising you’ve left.
We slow things down enough to actually meet what’s happening in real time - not just understand it afterwards.
The women I work with are highly self-aware. They’ve done therapy, read the books, had the breakthroughs… and still find themselves circling the same internal patterns. Generally high-functioning on the outside, but often disconnected from themselves on the inside. Present in their lives, but not fully in their bodies.
That isn’t a flaw. It’s a nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe.
I’m a counsellor and aliveness coach with 7 years’ experience in the field, and my work is somatic - which means we don’t only talk about what’s happening. We work with what’s happening in you, as it’s happening.
The sensations. The impulses. The protective responses. The moments you contract, override, withdraw, or push through.
And from there, something begins to shift - not through insight alone, but through experience in the body.
This is where change actually becomes possible.
If you're ready to stop surviving and start feeling alive in your own skin -
I'm here.